Oh, Potato Sacks!

So I've never really obsessed about "girly" things (except boys) like hair or toe rings. But right now, I am beyond pissed that my nail polish looks like it was applied by a octopus with arthritis. I just got my nails done last Sunday, and I am already aching for a bottle of remover. Arg.

Hm. I'm posting about my nails. I think this is getting out of control. I feel sorry for everyone who has to read this. But if you do, thanks for at least humoring me.

Anyway, onto more serious issues.

I got a little teary-eyed today as I was hanging out with my students. I skipped working on my conference period to go watch the leadership class facilitate the lunchtime activity. This particular lunchtime activity was called "The Granny Race," and involved a tire obstacle course, dress up items, and a backwards potato sack race. A winning combination, as you can guess. It was so fun to watch my little (Ok, they're not THAT little, but little enough) kids organize the rest of the students. As I was sitting on the edge of the quad, my students who were not participating just kept coming up to talk to me, and soon I had a little congregation of 10 students, just shootin the shit with me. There are literally no words I have to describe what I was feeling as I was talking to these kids. They are so smart and sooooo funny. I'll just give you a brief example:

We were talking about the "battles" the kids have, where instead of fighting, they "battle" each other by dancing. It is very big, very important. 'Battle!' I said. 'I want to see a battle!' Two of my male students (who happen to be more brilliant then I will ever be) got up and faced each other, trying to look serious. One broke into a little disco inferno and passed it to the other. The other came back at him with the ROBOT. The freaking ROBOT. I was dying, needless to say.

I love my students, so so much. I love teaching them (most of the time). I just cannot deal with all the external bullshit. The paperwork, the periodic assessments, testing, etc. I am beginning to realize that being a veteran teacher means you have mastered the art of ignoring all these things. But this brings me back to one thing: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT? Filling out three thousand surveys is NOT going to help me serve my students better. Having to do grades for 100 plus students is NOT going to serve my students better. The goal of education reform is to increase student acheivement. Well, guess freaking what, if you want to increase this magical achievement, you better fucking take care of your teachers. Negative reinforcement usually has negative effects. But I know that is idealism, and no one wants to here that. I'm idealistic though, and I'm not, I don't care how many people tell me otherwise, going to give it up. Whew. Sorry. It makes me mad that I am so burnt out, because I feel like a pussy for leaving the profession. At least in my new job, I'll still be helping to fight the good fight.

Let's segue into more interesting topics.

Boy #4 came over again last night. It was both a freaking awesome and freaking weird experience. I never pegged myself as transparent, but I guess at times I can be. We talked about "types," and how he was not exactly mine. He was suprised that I had "typed" him already, and I guess I kind of felt bad about that. For the most part, he fits the part of a "dude." Yes, he is quite a man's man, which is very different than what I am used to. Sometimes it freaks me out a little, especially when he reacts to things in a particularly "dude-like" way. He was able to figure out what kind of guy I usually like immediately, and described boy #2 almost to the T. I like those quasi-emotional indie types who are hard to figure out, he said, are a little quiet in social settings but break out when it is just the two of us. My man has to be complicated and love music, maybe even play it. I can't remember what else Boy #4 said, but it was right on, which is kinda scary.

Boy #4 has developed his own category in my head, not even on the continuum that I usually work off of. He has created his own parallel line. Well now, how about that. A relationship that defies all laws of relationship/friendshipdom. This should be an interesting chapter.