Full tilt

I think I will forever be a tourist when it comes to the beach. On Tuesday I went down to Hermosa Beach (yes, I was temporarily insane) to go running. I almost caused a major bike accident on the strand (the bike/run path for those of you NOT familiar with LA), because I could not tear my head away from the water. There is something that is eternally breathtaking about the ocean, no matter how many times I see it. I think it reminds me about how tiny I am. It clears my head, makes me think about all sides of the story. That kind of clarity does not come easily in a town where it takes you 25 minutes to get to the grocery store five blocks down.

I thought a lot about the state of the world, and the state of my relationships with people, both of which need to mend. Earlier that day, we had just finished training on ISIS, a computerized rollbook system which the district bought to make our lives easier (Stacey, this is an AWESOME opportunity for a story, you should check and see if your district is thinking about doing this). Eventually, all of the students records will be available through this system. While I appreciate the value of adopting this technology, it is also kind of frightening. It is still new, so they are experiencing a lot of problems with the system. People can easily hack into it, and therefore they are requiring that each teacher have a computer hard wired to the network as wireless networks are not secure enough. That's all fine and dandy, as long as you are: A) Not a P.E. teacher, B) The system does not go down, and C) Quick on the computer. I cannot wait to see what happens when we start using this program. I did a little research on the company behind the program, and it turns out they got their start by creating tracking programs for prisions and the welfare system. Lovely. Incidentally, the next day, two teachers who were thinking about resigning, turned in their resignation paperwork.

See? This is what I am talking about. Of course, people are always resistant to change, but this is ridiculous. This puts more stress on a group of already stressed out individuals. I think LAUSD should have made sure this was a solid program before spending millions of dollars on it.

Today (Thursday) I just about lost it with my 3rd period. They had an essay due today, which we had been working on for two weeks, and 30 percent of the students finished it. 30. Freaking. Percent. I mean, hell, it makes grading easier, but I am pissed that they did not finish it. For the most part, all of them had two rough drafts. They just couldn't muster up the effort to do a final freaking draft. I was so pissed. Instead of starting our book like we were supposed to, I had them write persuasive letters to me that included why they thought we should start reading the book, why Ms. Orringer should continue to put effort into the class, and why they should work hard and graduate.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

"On my behalf, I am sorry. Sorry if i've given you a real hard time through out these past months. Deep inside I really do care about school, and making everyone proud, at times it gets really hard to deal with all of our bottled up emotions. It's hard to try and want to make something of yourself when you dont feel the support of your moms, brothers and sisters. How can you care? When no one else cares? I thank you the most ms. O. Through out my time here, I have only felt your support. No one else has encourage me the way you have. I have let you down as well as myself."

"I think we should start reading Monster, because we want to know what the book is about. Also, because the title of the book tells me that it is going to be cool. That it is going to have a lot of problems/conflicts. It is also going to have solutions."

"I want to do well and graduate so when I grow up and go to work I could be a doctor. I want to do well so i could become a doctor and maybe something else."

"First of all, Ms. Orringer, you should put up with this class and put an effort to it. Why? Because with no one teaching us in English is like not even having a teacher. In addition, students would get lost and would start getting what they want. Also, I'm pretty sure you wont want us to get our way so you should do an effort to help this class out."

There are more, but I won't make you read them all (yet). Of course, in my state of weakness after the period, I texted boy #4 for help. After a few texts, he came up with this:

me: It all seems so futile though.
boy#4: Quixotic, but the windmill tilters change the world.

Fucking genius. Who says that stuff? Even if everything ends tomorrow with boy #4, I am eternally grateful for that comment. And of course for the tofu stir fry he made me after the run on Tuesday.

(watch, here's a non sequitur! (that is the way you spell it, I checked twice))

I am so ready for the weekend. Three days. I don't even have any plans, which is wonderful, because it means sleep is in order. I kind of want to have a crazy night of dancing that involves some very good vodka martinis. Shopping, I believe, is also in order, as I have graduation presents to, um, exercise. Hopefully I can make that happen. As long as I am dreaming, I would also like to meet a very hot man that isn't going to make me all nervous and scared about being rejected. Brace yourself, I feel the subject of the next post coming on...