Man, I just love to steal those song titles, don't I?
I feel like this one is particularly appropriate, for several reasons:
1. Clearly, Boy #2.
2. I keep screwing up with Boy #4. 'Don't worry about it,' he would say. 'It's not a big deal.' But I feel like a dick. Me. The chick in the relationship. I FEEL LIKE A DICK. I keep doing things to him that I would detest if the situation was reversed. I think it is a defense mechanism. Or revenge. Or sabotage. Perhaps I am purposefully trying to sabotage this situation because he is actually nice to me. Oh no, I can't be with a nice guy. Nice guys are too, well, nice. Oh, how utterly ridiculous. Why, as women, do we put ourselves in these situations? My friend, who shall remain nameless, consistently falls in love with guys who are mean to her. Not overtly mean, oh no, that would be too easy. They are subversively mean, which is ten times worse. These guys will say nice things, but then turn it around and make you feel inadequate. That is exactly what Boy #1 was. Subversively mean. The appearance of nice, but made me feel bad about myself in the process. Alishmandro could have told me that a while ago. I should have listened to him. He is the voice of reason.
Except that he (alexis) is moving to Long Beach, which seems unreasonable to me. Actually, it makes me overwhelmingly sad. I am glad he is doing what he wants to do, and I hope he finds what he is looking for down there. It might be kinda fun actually, because now we can pretend we have vacation homes in both places. Yay.
Anyway, back to Boy #4, because I am becoming somewhat nervous about the whole situation. I am starting to like spending time with him, which could be hazardous to whatever it is going on. I just can't help it. I get so excited when I see him, and it's not just because we have some hot shit going on. He's a talker, which as stacehlah knows is a good thing for me. He is passionate about what he does, wants to change the world. Still not my type? Maybe. I guess my best option is to go back to the lesson in the previous blog, which is to chill the fuck out and stay distant. Or distant-ish, because I haven't been doing such a good job with that distance thing lately. Maybe they have a pill for that. Preferably in chocolate form. With bananas might be nice.
I'll need it before tomorrow though, because I am driving down to his house after school. ;)
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1 comment:
Boy, your friend sounds like a screwball! You'd have to be an idiot not to see when people are being subversively mean to you! LOL!
I know what you mean about sabotage. We don't want what comes easy. We want challenge. I don't think we purposely chose bad guys, I think we just fall into their traps!
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