Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Is it true?

Is it true that if one part of your life is going really well, the other part goes to shit? I wonder if anyone has done research on that. I think I would make a good case study. Hey, I could even publish the results on this blog. Yeah. This is almost like a prestigious medical magazine.

Stethoscope.

See? That was a medical word.

Hypothesis: All things being equal, if Ms. O's career is going well, her love life (ug, I hate that phrase).

Method: Watch that chick.

Results: Test subject employs herself in various tasks, including teaching small children, fighting for social justice and generally saving the world. In these professions, she does well enough to not harm anyone. A natural cause compelled the subject to seek other employment, which led her to another, more fulfilling career. Test subject is confident on the job, and enjoys working to improve her skills.

It seems as though we are watching an entirely different subject altogether as we examine her in romantic interactions. She seems to have three difficult situations plaguing her all at once:

1. Her former interest, to whom she is very much still attached, has returned after a six-month absence. She said she worked hard not to think about him during those months. She would reward herself mentally if she went several days without thinking about him. She even tried listing his bad qualities, so she could attempt to rationalize the situation. His return, although she has not seen him yet, is troubling her greatly. She has trouble figuring out how she can be so confident on the job, and yet such a "stupid" female in this situation.

2. She believes she is misinterpreting signs from another male whom she has feelings for. This male seems to call at extremely opportune times. She is afraid of pursuing this interest, despite advice from her peers.

3. She is feeling guilty about another male subject, whom she has no real feelings for. She says she "keeps this one around to play with." On multiple surveys, she indicated that sex/sexual acts are very important to her. She also noted that she was tired of having "loveless" physical contact.

Conclusion: Our recommendation to this woman is that she should "chill the fuck out." She is most likely blowing things out of proportion, a behavior typical of many females in her position. She welcomes any additional recommendations from other professionals.

Note: She promises to stop writing about this soon, as she is sure her audience is bored already.

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