Sigh. Alishmandro's blog is beautiful. Did you read his post about his date last weekend? Holy crap, it's amazing. He can just let himself go and this girl freaking responds. It is a drastic change from the last two, for the better, undoubtedly. I am so so so so so so so so happy for the boy. I think he has met his match.
And Celina, holy fish fry, that comment about being able to breathe out, very profound. I am glad that we have come to the part of the cycle where all of my friends are happy in relationships. Everyone is generally in a better mood when the pendulum swings this way.
I wish I could write about someone that way. I know it is incredibly selfish to think that, but I really do envy Alex and Celina and all you other happy campers (you are not excluded, Stefffony, Toddykins and Chewy). I just keep waiting, to feel that thing that you all have. But I can't help thinking that I really will end up alone, with cats. And in the end, it is my dysfunction(s) that keep me from finding what I am looking for, not the boys. As one fine friend said, the common factor is you, not the boys.
I prohibit myself from thinking about Boy#4 the way Allio thinks about his lady, because boy #4 is on the out. In my brain, I am already saying goodbye to him, so that when the day comes I'll be ready. Detach detach detach is my mantra, whenever I begin thinking about him. Like when I am driving home, and thinking about him, I try to actively switch my thoughts to something else, usually work stuff.
It's like this:
La dee da, listening to Jon Brion, Oh, I wish I could see Boy #4 tonight, wouldn't it be fun to play Boggle with him, I want to drive down and get that CD from him...NO NO NO NO...WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT WORK DO I HAVE TO DO TONIGHT? NEWSLETTER? OH YES, NEWSLETTER! I HAVE TO DO THE NEWSLETTER!
and so on and so forth until I am completely focused on work. It's a great method I call the 'distraction' method. It is great if you want to put a lot of energy and passion into your job. I mean, think about it, you get all those feelings stirred up and then redirect them. The product is always going to be high quality.
(Ok, I'm deluding myself, but let me have it, just for a minute)
In other news, my apartment search is proving quite taxing. Any advice agent Forman? I found a beautiful apartment just two blocks north of Vermont and Franklin, but the security deposit is huge and they want someone to move in on July 1. Arg.
Hopefully my next post will be about how in love I am with my new place. I promise to use at least 3 to 5 metaphors.
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