Some people make fun of me for liking YA lit so much. You know what I say to them? POOP! Young adult fiction can oftentimes be superior to adult fiction. Here is a perfect example from the book I just finished, entitled "A Great and Terrible Beauty" by Libba Bray:
"But forgiveness..I'll hold on to that fragile slice of hope and keep it close, remembering that in each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We're each our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real. We've got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there's an awful lot of gray to work with. No one can live in the light all of the time."
Fucking brilliant, I say. I know it is not an original idea, but it is well-timed. The idea of forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for being both good and bad, and realizing the importance of that equillibrium.
And perhaps, in regards to our most recent blogs, we can forgive ourselves for our mistakes in relationships. Wanting too much or not wanting enough, wavering between the player and the played, being the giver and the taker. I think, Machellian, in regards to your question earlier ('but what IS love?'), THAT is what love is. The "something solid" we hope to emerge into. Everything we are doing now is just an illusion.
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I like the idea of having gray in our lives. I met someone once who said that life is either black or white; that there was never any gray. I think most of life is lived in the gray area, making decisions about relationships, job choices, living arrangements, and our own selves.
Forgiveness is something often lauded but infrequently practiced. Yes, we must learn to forgive ourselves. We are all human and meant to make mistakes. Because it's such a cliche, we sometimes forget that to err is human, to forgive divine.
I don't read much YA lit but the ideas are so much more concentrates and digestible. I have nothing against it - I would rather read it than an "adult" novel (unless it's THAT kind of adult novel!)
Am I really that random in my thoughts? I think we ALL have bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD and schizophrenia!!! So what????
I'm sorry. I'm a little thrown off that I have that weird six-degree thing going on here.
How can you ever stay in one relationship then if everyone's always changing??? I'm all for serial dating. That way you can cast people aside when you're done with them!!! Or when they do something you don't like. Ha ha ha. Is anyone working today?
(Hey, 'don't forget to breathe,' are you a Beulah fan, or is that just from something else?)
But jrey, isn't the key finding someone who can accept our change, and the changes we have been through? And what about patience? Quite frankly, I am tired of trying and failing over and over and over and over and over again. I mean, what does it take?
Perhaps the key to happiness in single life is to hold onto that forgiveness mantra, and work on perfecting who you are, and subsequently how you treat other people. Perhaps you only meet THE person when you have perfected yourself to the point where you are 90 percent happy with who you are. The other 10 percent should be reserved for the changes you will experience in the future.
where do we include mind blowing animal sex?
just kidding
my love advisor (my best friends mom), figures that we change so much, that we end up turning back to the same point many times. i mean,I hate okra, but i'm sure I'll enjoy it one of these days.
I think the the "changes" we go through are of course normal(definately an unneeded statement, but i'm just too lay to hit backspace).
I figured that my past relationships were with women who were just not worth it to me to put up with the change and they felt the same for me.
i guess the person who is the "one" is someone who is worth putting up with all the changes you and that other person will go through.
and have mind blowing animal sex.
alexicon has a point. Where do we include sex? Sometimes I get the feeling that some people (ahem) stay with someone just for the sex. Just so they can have someone sleeping next to them, telling them that they want them, etc. Are those the relationships we are supposed to have in our 20s? Do we suddenly switch gears in our 30s because life is supposed to be more serious?
So, in my selfish world, I want me to make me happy 99% of the time. My unwillingness to change has proven problematic. I guess I might be willing to change more than 1% for the right person, though.
and Michelangelo, why do we do that? I TOTALLY do that. If I am with one guy, I always want another one. The other one doesn't even have to exist in real life. He can just live in my brain. What the hell. It is definitely the green grass syndrome.
do we get more serious when we are older because we are merely freaking out? its amazing all the social expectations that are out there for us.
all of this has got me thinking about the existence of this "true love" stuff. is there without a biological connection?. It seems that in the end, we are more loyal to our blood. Sure, we love someone, bla bla bla, but how willing are we to do what it takes for them? Look at children, half the time, the only reason to stay married are for the kids when you see a couple considering separation or divorce.
Of course, you could make for the argument of asshole's who abandon their family, which now throws my shit in a loop.
Is love just being a little less selfish for that one person? I think Jayna (go mizzou!) is onto something here
Now, I'm all about finding someone to share my love with (insert emo joke here. However i'm starting to question it. Maybe it really doesn't exist. The absence of true love is somewhat comforting, knowing that it may never really exist,so I can't really miss it right?
But also makes me feel very lonely.
you know, if you replaced all these words with processed food. we would call it vomit. sorry for polluting the airwaves. I have no idea what I just wrote about. I gotta stop inhaling bad things.
I think love exists somewhere. That's my reason for living. If I never find true love, at least I gave it my best shot! I'd rather just watch people fall in love with me and enjoy the show!
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