Next topic. If we weren't teachers, do you think we would worry as much about our relationships? Like if we were in an emotionless job, like a professional telemarketer or rodeo poop-scooper, would we talk as much about how dysfunctional we all are in our relationships?
I truly believe that this job magnifies every little emotion you have, because you have to be 'on' all the time. It is stressful. You are constantly asked to reflect on your teaching, your practice, etc. etc. etc. What effect does that have on the way you live your life? Is it better to be completely distracted from performing any type of metacognition?
I would also submit that hanging around with middle school kids escalates our need for drama.
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At the same time though, what we do here just serves to create more drama in our lives. I mean, shit, what is more exciting than a kid having an AHA! moment? To us, few things. To other people, A FREAKING LOT. I always feel bad when I share my teaching stories (or any stories, actually) with people. I feel like they are constantly bored.
Some of us entered here willing. I, in my TFA interview, said "8th graders are the devil." Alas, they're not devils (well, most, at least), but it has changed me in too many ways.
Because of teaching I've been forced to think of how others perceive me, when before I could pretend to not know. Thus, after teaching, lots of my dance moves and short skirts have been less used. I also had to consider the thong (underwear this time) vs. full-coverage because I truly understood how it influenced my relationship with my student (classroom management after 13-year-old boys see your thong when you bend over is impossible).
I see how my cold comments hurt. I see that I can make people cry. I see that I really am funny. I've become much more aware of my relationships (or as Michelle points out, lack thereof) because of teaching, and I don't know if I like that.
I totally feel you on that Jayna. This job definitely changed the way I think about how I think about how I think about how...oops, sorry I got stuck.
I think one of the reasons why journalists suck sometimes is because they are so busy thinking about their stories that they forget to think about who they are. Which is bad, because then they forget to keep their biases in check and write objective stories. Stupids.
I do like the fact that I can think a little more critically about my actions now though, because I think I lived a little too impulsively (is that word correct J dawg) in college. I was always in a rage about something. Now I analyze my rage before I let it out, and make a conscious effort to see the other side of things. The only problem is that now I am afraid I analyze TOO much. Boy #4 says I think too much about things. He is right, I am sure, but it is not something I am willing to budge on.
Yet.
I think this (today's posts) show we all think too much.
But, yeah, I do feel you on that "rage" bit . . . Jayna's emotions are a bit more in check now as in not a lot of anger.
PS: Why is Michelle's "blog" really just a blank page? That made me starting thinking about Michelle and her issues and obsessions. I'm sure one day there will be 15 posts in 30 minutes.
Are you kidding me...scrutinizing relationships are the catalyst to many a creative outlets: Books, movies, tv shows, music. Shit...overanalysis of relationships totally made Sex in the City. Embrace your inner Carrie and run with it beautiful.
Jayna, never let other people's opinions of you dictate how you live your life. If you want to wear a thong, FUCK IT and wear the thong with a short skirt. Who cares? Has anyone ever been fired for what they wore (or didn't wear) to work? Actually, have you ever heard of anyone getting fired at all??? Inept teachers never die, they just get transferred over and over. HA!
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