Rollerskatin' Baby

So much to blog, so much to say.

I’m in a bad mood, probably hormones, but I will explain the other rationale for that towards the end of this blog.

Let’s start with the rollerskating/shortstop extravaganza.

It.

Was.

Incredible.

A HUGE, GIGANTIC, COLOSSAL thank you to everyone who came. There were several times during the night when I gushed to various people about how great it was to have everyone in the same place. I was missing a few (ce-ce, toddykins, jrey, mimi, etc.), but the collection of excellent people really was the best birthday present I have ever received.

And now, the whole story.

So the evite said show up at 7:30 to the wonderful Glendale Moonlight Rollerway. Alright, I thought, I’ll go on time so no one has to be there alone. Well psha, I sat in my freakin car, watching the teenagers unload from their parent’s tan minivans and green wagons until Jeffers and Setharian pulled up. Shortly after their arrival, Boy #6 and his friend rolled in on their bikes, and Princess and Little A came truckin in.

So we had a nice little group going, and as the minutes rolled by, it multiplied until we had about 14 people rollering around the floor. Everyone looked like a rock star (yes, even you chewie). We ate orange/lemon ice pops and did couples skating to some obscure love ballad that I think was actually Christian soft rock. They played Bowie and silly things like Nelly Furtado. We were bitter when they had professional backwards skating, and yet it was very entertaining to see the professionals do their tricks. At some point, I think Tino wore skates without socks, but I am not sure how that all went down. We ended up basking in the Moonlight until about 10, and then we headed over to the Shortstop.

I feel the need to give a warning before I tell the next part of the story – I don’t remember much of this part, so I apologize if it seems full of holes.

After a quick costume change and kitty petting session, Boy#6, Briowen (his friend) and I went down to the shortstop. Fortunately, this time, there was no line, and no one was getting their ass kicked outside the bar. I was happy to find that biggie shmalex, glassosherry and rainyday were already at the bar. Yay! More of my favorite people. I was taking it slow, sucking back a vodka and sprite, dancing a little and catching up with buddies. Then Tino and friends arrived, and I began to lose sobriety shortly after. I remember another vodka sprite, a shot of vodka, something from princess involving goldshlager and yaegermeister, and a martini. I remember balance issues on the dance floor, but no falling. I think we closed down the bar, because we left. I cannot imagine that we would have left before we were forced to. I remember saying something incriminating to TFA staff who had come to the bar at some point, and then walking down the street with Boy#6, Briowen, Arod and her two buddies, M1 and M2.

Once we got to the Brite Spot, I decided I needed to go home. Boy#6 was engaged in conversation with one of the M’s, so I started to walk out and call a cab. I don’t remember what I told the cab operator, but I do remember that she was laughing at me. I planted myself outside on the Brite Spot benches to wait for the cab. Fortunately, Briowen came out to check on me. Shortly after, I tossed my pasta. In the damn Brite Spot parking lot. I was so embarrassed. I think I was crying. Boy#6 traded places with Briowen, and called a cab, because I guess it was clear that mine was not coming.

And then morning came. Shit. I was late taking the kitties to get spayed and neutered. I tossed the little piles of fur in their carrier, threw on clothes, and hopped in the car. I was kind of OK on the drive there, but I had to pull over on the drive back, because I began recalling what I had to drink the night before, and felt ill. Fortunately, the pull-off I happened to be closest to was Griffith Park, so I just pulled under a tree and fell asleep in the car for a few minutes. When I was feeling better, I returned to la maison, where #6 was still asleep in my bed.

I tried desperately to sleep, on and off I did it. At one point, I came out to the living room where Bryowen and #6 were discussing the previous night. I am certain I looked like total ass, and probably smelled bad. I inquired about how Briowen finally made it back to my apartment after #6 and I had taken the taxi. #6 said something like, “ Yeah, I kept calling M, asking where you were.”

Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps it was just my jealous tendencies, but the fact that #6 (oops!) got that girl’s number just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, she was gorgeous, an actress, and very outgoing. I had reason to be jealous/suspicious, I suppose.

But what made it worse, was that after Sunday, #6 initiated no contact with me the entire week. I thought for certain we were finished. Another one that I fucked up, because of bad communication or letting my feelings get away from me. He explained that he was just busy, and did not mean to keep me in the dark, and no, he was not seeing anyone else.

Yesterday, we hung out for the first time since last weekend. It felt fine, and actually the night was great, because we started out at the Getty. I was on edge all night, just waiting for him to break up with me. I like him, a lot lot lot. I am starting to get that feeling of powerlessness in this relationship though, which is bad.

More often I seem to be having the conversation about a sort of relationship existentialism. If you are not going to marry the person, you are going to break up with them, and it’s gonna suck. Break up is inevitable. I don’t want to be a pessimist about this, and I am not anywhere near ready for marriage. I think I am just looking for someone who I don’t have to be nervous about.

(Oh, and just to review, here are the #s again:
#1 - ex-boyfriend who ran off to south america
#2 - long time friend, who I am always falling in and out of love with. Presently out.
#3 - Short lived, hookup friend.
#4 - Well, don't we all know #4?
#5 - The visitor
#6 - The present and sickeningly wonerful boy) Enjoy!