Is a grape in the hand worth two in the mouth?

(Editor's Note: From now on, I will be listing the music that accompanies the creation of each blog. Today our selection is Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain, c/o Pavement)

Today was bona fied strange. I'm not sure if I'm having a surge in hormone levels or what, but there was an onslaught of strange observations/occurrences/dreams that set my brain a little to the right of functioning normally.

For example, last night (or early this morning) I had a dream that I made out with a black dude. No black dude in particular, but a black dude. We didn't get too far past second base, because I remember feeling weird in the dream. Like I was doing something wrong. Not for kissing a black dude, mind you, but because I am resolved not to have feeling-less sexual encounters right now. The libido is powerful though, I know it's sultry call says, IT'S BEEN A FREAKING LONG TIME BIO-TCH! Oh well. Shut up libido. Your little libido-ey ass can wait.

I really need to shut that voice down, because it is good at making me consider people/situations I wouldn't normally consider. Usually, those situations end up being awful (see every freaking number on this freaking list. Except maybe 4. 4 wasn't completely awful.) I am working on not flirting with my neighbor. He definitely has no interest, and has multiple female hipsters who probably want to date him. And he's my neighbor. Bad idea, bad, bad, bad idea. Other fish in the sea. Like tuna. And yellow box fish.

ANYWAY, in my afternoon meeting we had snacks. The snacks consisted of various cheese triangles, grapes, assorted melons and crackers. The lady, not next to me but one person over, collected a plate of three grapes, a piece of watermelon and a cracker. For some reason, instead of listening to the presentation, I became completely fixated on watching this person eat, because she did a crazy thing. Instead of pushing the grapes to the side of the little plate, she picked them off the stem AND HELD THEM IN HER HAND WHILE SHE ATE THE WATERMELON WITH A FORK! I mean, that seems oddly dirty and inefficient, right? Especially if you have a fork? Ok, sure I eat grapes with my hands, but I don't hold them in my hand while I eat other things on the plate. The whole time I was watching her eat, I imagined her accidentally squishing one of the grapes in her hand, then trying to troubleshoot the situation without anyone noticing that SHE HAD GRAPES IN HER HAND!!!

Ok, ok, that was a bit weird, I know. But it just struck me a wrong and wonderful at the same time.