Geez. It's almost been a month since my last post. When did I get so lazy? Er, um, I mean, busy?
Actually I have a good reason for not blogging, and that reason is...well, the fact is that...ok really I just...don't think my life is all that interesting these days. I have been making bad decision after bad decision after bad decision. And then I feel lonely. And then that wears off, but I try not to remember what that feeling felt like, so I don't want to put it into words.
The ordeal with 8 has had me in a strange state. In a way, I felt like he was my last hope for a good, loving relationship. He was different. Wiser, older, more respectful. Welp. So much for that shit. He ended up in a storage box in the basement like the others. And now I feel like I don't want another box. I don't want to go through the stress of opening myself up, getting hurt, and mending all over again. It is just not worth the hassle. My therapist says I tend to go for emotionally unavailable men because my father was emotionally unavailable. Yuck. So, I give up. I give up on men, and I give up on women. Either gender is going to produce the same result.
I have to leave all this counting behind me, and continue to really be single for a long, long time. Ah, the single life. I am all too familiar with that tune, but maybe that is what I am destined to hum.
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"I don't want to go through the stress of opening myself up, getting hurt, and mending all over again. It is just not worth the hassle."
I hear ya, O, I hear ya. And I hate when people say, but if you don't do that, how will you ever find "the one"...because what if we keep doing that and STILL don't find "the one"...or what if "the one" doesn't even exist...
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